Areas of Learning - Self Worth/Confidence
As dancers I think we all question ourselves, I certainly do!
Am I good enough? How do other people perceive me? Will I ever be satisfied with myself?
This is a psychological battle I went through with most of my college and audition experiences. Having ADHD, I take much longer to learn material than most, and having this uncertainty made my confidence plummet. I would stand at the back of a class, always be the last to volunteer and blend into the crowd at auditions. I had a lot of barriers to overcome, with the unforgiving essence of auditions, I knew I had to find another way of interpreting the steps.
Counting was the least helpful, unrelatable to the movement and monotonous. Instead I found noises or singing the steps with the tune of the song was preferable.
Reflecting on this has made me realise the processes which come into play for a variety of situations and obstacles.
Hi Amanda, I found reading this so interesting and also very relatable to my own practice. I think the questions 'am I good enough' and 'will I ever be satisfied with myself' come as part of the package of being a performer, or that's what I told myself. I think these were sometimes daily questions throughout part of my college training but like yourself and I would say the majority of other performers out their, was that what we truly thought about ourselves or was it the way the industry is made to make us feel...
ReplyDeleteThanks Emma!
DeleteI think I was taught there is always someone better, which is perfectly true.
However I thinking this is quite a humbling approach to avoid self indulgence and arrogance, as I find there is nothing more unattractive in a professional.